The joy of sorrow lap

The pleasure of sitting in the lap of grief, 
gray, dark days are are mine. 
Guests face my day 
pallid gaze creates, 
I arrive at the darkness through the night to create a shadow. 
Half the night, clouds blackness, 
a dream of peace in my soul willing. 
Shadows are a dream of red velvet. 
Impatient world, 
Remember again, 
how to play with my emotions. 
Violate a confident opinion 
out of balance, as well as the peace of the way. 

I have learned how to listen, 
learned to speak on deaf ears. 
Learned to be a doormat, 
the hall door. 
Large grief boots, 
leave dirty marks. 
The frost will bring home the pork, 
lead doormat creates.